Living in the Open 💚🌈
A wise & beautiful friend/peer told me yesterday, I'm no longer living in the closet, I'm living in the open and with that comes all my vulnerability and truth. I hope that sharing my vulnerability with you might help someone who needs to hear it today. There are moments when I realize I need a breather... I'm done. My brain is overwhelmed, my emotions are frazzled. I can feel that old prickly uprising of fight or flight kicking in. Before, not too long ago, I couldn't manage those triggers and I would cave to the stress. But now I've learned to pause, breathe. Take a beat and get out of my head. Go for a walk, put my headphones in and become lost in a world where it's only the sound of my sneakers hitting the pavement and the cords of melody streaming through my mind. I can relax. My soul is rejuvenated, my mind unwinds, I can stop the fight or flight before it happens. Something uplifting always greets me on my daily walks. It doesn't have to be momentous; I'm easily amused 😉 but it does recharge my energy and puts me in a place where I can sort out my issue. Let go of control, it is what it is. Take that beat. Breathe.
Lately my trigger has been school. Going back to full time education after 20 plus years... learning Kinesiology in only a few months. It's been a huge fear of mine to become a medical practitioner, even though it's been one of my heart's greatest desires throughout my life. To help people. To nurture. To heal. I'm doing it! But not without learning to take that pause and recharge my emotions. Yesterday was one of those moments for me, and one fortuitous event occurred and a couple cool things! One: I stumbled across a restaurant that was hiring and my daughter applied and got the job! Two: I talked to the nicest guy and his adorable dog. Three: I crossed paths with this giant ass skeleton that totally made my October night!!! I've learned not to control the situation but to control my emotions. Not an easy task to master and admittedly, I'm still learning. I'm not a novice, but I'm definitely no master. I fall somewhere in the middle. I'm getting there ☝️👟👟
No going back, no regrets!
Much love! 🌈💚🌈